On May 10th at 8:01 AM my little man was born! 6 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches long. My perfect tiny human.
I’m obsessed with staring at him and holding him and all the cuddles.
I’m really at a loss for words. I’m sure any first-time mom can relate. I’ve barely been able to stop watching him sleep to type up this post.
To be honest, I was really terrified of how this was going to go for several weeks leading up to delivery. I’m still scared, still a little overwhelmed, still a lot of emotions… but I’m also feeling more capable of doing this. Every day I get a little more confident. And boyfriend has been so supportive and helpful. I couldn’t do this without him.
The first few days at home were a little rough. For the obvious reason of adjusting my sleep schedule to make sure he’s fed of course. But then on the second day home he had his first pediatrician visit and we discovered his jaundice levels were too high. We’ve had to put him on a biliblanket (basically a baby tanning bed) for a few days and I’ve spent a lot of time crying. From being scared about him getting better, to just seeing how unhappy it made him. The first night with the biliblanket, I didn’t sleep at all because he wouldn’t let me put him down. It’s been tough, but the doctor believes tomorrow he’ll be good to go without it. I’ve been an emotional wreck, but I know we’ll get through this.
I’m so excited to see him grow. I can’t wait for the first time he smiles at me. And the first time I make him laugh. I’m excited to see him crawl and walk and all of it. But I also want him to stay little and be my little cuddle monster forever.
It’s so crazy how one day I was just pregnant and feeling confused and scared about what was going to change in my life, and now I have all this love for this tiny human. I already know I would do anything for him.