Honesty Rant

          So, I’m just going have a little rant about being overworked and overtired. This week’s blog post was supposed to be the next installment of my ghost story, but I just didn’t manage to get it written. I feel like a total slacker, but I just haven’t had motivation. I don’t believe in writer’s block, so I can’t call it that. I simply didn’t find the time or energy to put my butt in the chair and get it written. I wrote about ten words of it on Monday, but I was babysitting my nephew along with my tiny and it was pretty hectic. I have to be proud of even getting that much done, I guess. It’s the little victories.

          I run a store, as I’m sure you know from reading my retail rants. And it’s Christmas time. Meaning it’s been extra busy at work and I’ve had a million extra things to do and it wears me out by the time I get home. And when I get home, there’s still the baby to take care of, plus cooking or cleaning up dinner, endless laundry, and trying to spend time with the boyfriend. I just haven’t had it in me to sit at the computer and do MORE work. Not making excuses, just honoring my reality. By the time the kids are in bed, I just want to lay down and rest.

          But the good news is that Christmas is almost over and I can go back to being the normal amount of tired. I’m hoping I can get myself back on track and not feel like a failure once the new year starts. Speaking of which, I’ve decided to lower my writing goals for the time being. I hate having to mark a zero every week when I don’t finish a book or get any words on paper. I feel like my expectations are just too high right now and it makes me not want to even try. I’m planning on giving myself six months of lower goals so little dude can become more independent of me and we can figure out a good schedule for everything. If I can meet my goals consistently by then, I’ll raise them back up. It’s the only thing I can think of to keep myself from giving up entirely. Because that would just make me more unhappy instead.

          Sorry for the blah post this week, but I felt like explaining would be better than just skipping the day altogether. That would have just been one more thing I would have failed at. Well… the baby is making noise in the other room, so I guess that’s going to be it. Merry Christmas everyone.

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