Retail Rant #19

Back again with the little things people do that make my day a little bit irritating. Because I guess I should point out, after all of these rants, that I do actually like my job. Most days are fine. I enjoy the work that I do. But this is just some of the consequences of working with the public. There are just too many people in the world that don’t seem to know how to act when they leave their house. And here are a few examples.  

Don’t ask me what batteries your remote takes if you didn’t bring it with you. How am I supposed to know? We don’t all have the same TV remote. And telling me, “I don’t know if it’s these ones, or the other ones,” doesn’t help either since I don’t know what you mean by the other ones. Blah. 

Don’t start a pile on my counter and keep walking away to get more stuff. And then, don’t say “I should have just got a basket,” before continuing to pile more stuff on the counter. You can get a basket now! You’re not the only customer in the store. Other people are going to want to check out and all your crap is in the way! But it’s fine, carry on. You would totally do this at walmart.  

There are two registers. If one has a sign that says “please use other register” and one has a bell that says “please ring for service,” which one do you think could be the one I’ll ring you up at? It’s really tough, I know. Not to mention the fact that I’m probably standing by one of them. But I don’t know. I might be playing a prank on you.  

If you try to come in the store so forcefully that it’s like you body slammed the door and all of my windows start shaking, you might need to calm down. Besides that, we don’t open for another 20 minutes, maybe you should check your clock. There is a nice, bold, store hours sign next to the door. I hope you can read if you’re driving a car. But then also don’t ask me, “are you not open???” through the door. If its locked, then clearly we are not open.  

Another example of trying to come in before we open, don’t vigorously shake the door back and forth. That will not unlock it. And then when five minutes have passed and it’s still not opening time, please refrain from trying again.  Did you see me walk over and unlock the door? No? Well then it’s most likely still locked.  

I don’t understand why people do what they do. I was cleaning up before closing and noticed the price label for our 2 pack paper towels now said $2 instead of $1.50. This is an issue because the packaging says $1.50 and I hate having to override prices. But then on closer inspection, I see the description on the label is for a gift bag. So, this means someone pulled the price tag off of the gift bag section, walked two aisles over,  and put the tag over the paper towels label. Why? If it had been a cheaper price, I could have understood. But why are you trying to make it look more expensive? Why? Ugh.  

I was putting away freight one Saturday morning when an elderly man came in the store. And I mean, he was at least 70. His age is important for the ending, you’ll see. Anyway, he walks past me and goes to the counter. He rings the bell (yes, even though I’m in plain view of him) and I say, “I’ll be right there.” As I walk over to him, he says, “I had an ex-girlfriend say that to me once.” I give him a forced smile. Because, what? As I come around the counter he says, “Guess you don’t have a sense of humor. I won’t be shopping here again.” What??? Was that supposed to be a funny joke? Disregarding his comment, I ring him up and cash him out. I tell him to have a nice day. He gets all huffy as he goes to leave. I tell him I’m sorry for not laughing at his joke. Even though I’m not sorry. Because it wasn’t funny. And he says, “Whatever. You know, I don’t want to be at work either, but I don’t take it out on everyone.” 

Hold the phone. You’re not at work, sir. You’re clearly retired, driving your classic car and you came into my store to buy some candy on a Saturday morning. And me not laughing at your joke doesn’t mean I don’t want to be at work. It just means you aren’t funny! It’s also not in my job description to laugh at your joke. You are not entitled to my laughter. But you go have a nice day, and please shop somewhere else next time. Jeeze.  

And for last; *Corona virus panic* is doing two things; clearing my shelves and blowing my sales through the roof. I’m all for the precautionary stuff and stocking up on a few basic items… However. If we are put under a 14 day quarantine, that’s only 14 days. I really want to know who needs 80 rolls of toilet paper for 14 days. I haven’t seen a single person load up on food items. One guy bought three cartons of eggs, but that’s normal behavior. Our eggs are cheaper than anyone else in town.

We sold out of toilet paper on Saturday. Our truck is on Wednesday. I spent the first part of the week telling people the truck is on Wednesday. Even though I feel like my regular customers should already know this. But whatever. And the follow up question has been, “well what time?” And I seriously just don’t want to tell anyone. Because a few different scenarios could happen; 1. the truck is late, you’re here waiting on toilet paper and mad at me for telling you the “wrong time.” 2. the truck is on time, but he’s an idiot driver and takes 30 minutes to back up to the door (happens all the time) and then you’re mad because I don’t have toilet paper yet. 3. the truck is on time, he gets to the door just fine, and then *gasp* toilet paper doesn’t immediately come off the rollers. And then you’re mad. And in all of these situations, I don’t want a mob of people demanding flippin’ toilet paper.

As it was, truck was early, and we received very little toilet paper compared to any other week. We sold out again within three hours. Yelled at almost immediately after it was all gone. Because it’s something I can control, totally.

To tack on to the corona virus thing; I need everyone to chill the eff out. We are retail workers that are out there risking our own health so that you can have crap to buy. We don’t have any control over what they send on the truck or what time it arrives. We are human beings. We deserve your respect. And the next person to yell at me might just need to catch these hands. Ugh.

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