Retail life #21

Still surviving. Still dealing with people and their loveliness. Gets lovelier by the day.  

This first story, let me preface by saying we aren’t supposed to chase shoplifters. Which I did not. However, I did follow him outside to get the license plate. I was behind the counter, filling out some paperwork and I notice a teenager walk out the door and pass my window. I look up and see that a very distinct rectangle shape is underneath his hoodie. So, I walk outside and pull my phone out to take a picture of his car and then call the cops. Well, my assistant just happened to pull in the parking lot at this time, so she took the picture and I put the phone up to my ear. I didn’t end up calling the cops, because sadly they can’t do much if we don’t actually know what was taken.   

Anyway, we go inside and she shops and I continue my paperwork after talking a little crap about shoplifters. About fifteen minutes later, I look out the window and notice the kid has come back. He parked at the end of the lot and I watch him get out of the car, put something on the ground in front of the ice machine and then take off as fast as he can manage in our crappy parking lot. I go outside and find that he brought back what he stole. It was kitty litter. And I don’t know why, but it was hilarious. He was probably convinced we’d actually called the police. And we guessed it was his mom’s car, not his, and he wouldn’t want her to know he’d been stealing.  

I’ve already ranted about couponers before, but it doesn’t ever seem to get any better. Anyway, we had these pretty nice digital coupons during peak tax return time. $5 off when you spend $25, $10 off when you spend $50, and $20 off when you spend $75. The catch is, though, that your total has to be that before tax and after all other coupons and discounts. I’ve had people come in, get $25 worth of stuff, have three or four other coupons for $1 or .50 or whatever, and it takes their total down below $25 so the $5 doesn’t come off and they get huffy. But then I had a lady come in and buy $75 worth of stuff. After all her other coupons, her total went down to $38. It took off the $5 off $25. She asked, “did my coupons come off?” And I said yes. Because a ton of freakin’ coupons came off. She saved almost $40! Anyway, she cashes out and I go back to what I was working on. She stands by the door and examines her receipt for several minutes before asking me why the $20 coupon didn’t come off. I spend at least ten minutes explaining the whole thing about after all other coupons, blah blah blah. And she finally leaves.  

Or so I thought. Five minutes later she come back in with exactly $20 worth of her stuff to return. I told her that the coupons she used on the items would not reload to her account and she said it was fine. So I had to manually type in all the coupons she used to make sure she didn’t get more money back than she spent. And I do the refund. And she says, “I’ll just try again another day.” Great. Fantastic. I can’t wait. Ugh.  

Another coupon person just made me want to face palm. I ring her up, scan her mobile coupon barcode and… no coupons come off. She says, “There was a coupon for buy one get one free Oreos. I bought one.”  

Blank stare.  

Yes. You bought one. You have to bring two to the counter to be rung up and then it will take the coupon off and you’ll get the second pack free.  

“Oh, that’s too much. Nevermind.” 

What’s too much? Walking back over to the cookie aisle???? The Oreos would be free!! But okay, if you say so.  

And I don’t want to get into all the people yelling about the shortages on things. It’s ridiculous and I don’t want to get on that soap box. Just know that people are still special.  

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