Description Writing

I’ve decided I need to try to expand on my description abilities. I feel like its something I leave out too often because I see it in my head, and I forget that other people can’t see it too. I don’t remember the last time I described how a character looked in a first or even a second draft. I bought a book called Thesaurus of the Senses and I will try my best to be better about describing what’s going on in my books. And I’ll start with trying out the exercises in the beginning of the book. So, here we go.

Senses Exercise #6

Attempt #1

The light shone onto the desk in a yellow glow

The keyboard clicked smooth under her fingers with ease

The video game in the background didn’t fail to distract her

The smell of French fries from dinner still lingered in the air

The cheap beer felt stale on her tongue

A night in my writing life when I can’t get my focus

So many other tasks call for attention

Why can’t I just pour out some words on the page

Clean this, or put that away

But no, I only want to write this draft

Attempt #2

The dimpled gray paint on the walls was once so inviting

But now it makes me feel like this is a house of sadness

A rushing and ringing in my ears reminds me I might be going deaf

And it drowns out the background noise of the kids playing behind me

A candle burns on the stove and fills the air with the scent of ocean waves

But it can’t quite mask the smell of dishes in the sink

A cigarette has deadened my taste buds and makes me crave water

And even when I chug down a glass, I can’t seem to quench my thirst

The AC kicks on and a chill passes over me

But it’s only a momentary relief from the Texas heat

Another Saturday night passes by during the pandemic

And I can’t help but wonder what my friends are up to

*

I don’t know if I did this exactly right, but I tried my best. The exercise was to describe something from around you with all five senses and then connect them on the last line. What do you guys think?

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