Retail Life Episode 8

Cash register pet peeves.

If you’ve ever been any kind of cashier, you can likely relate to most of these.


-“Do you take checks?’

Yup, we sure do, but you don’t have to fill it out.

But of course they’re going to fill it out because it’s easier to keep a record of.


But as they begin to write, you realize that they write so slow that it might take them ten minutes to fill out a check.

So you stare at the ceiling, or at the window, or at the screen. Anywhere to not make eye contact with the people waiting in line behind the check writing customer.


-Total is $1.08.

Customer holds out a $100.

I can’t break that.

“Ugh, well it’s all I have.”

*Shrug.* I don’t have $99 to give you in change unless you want some quarters, dimes, and nickels.

Digs through purse to reveal – *gasp* – a wad of smaller bills.

Mumbles about this being ridiculous, we’re a store and we should have money in the drawer to break large bills, and the bank gave it to her instead of twenties, etc etc etc….

*Disclaimer* Stores have cash handling policies! We aren’t supposed to keep a bunch of money in the drawer for safety reasons! We are also not a bank! And speaking of banks, as soon as they hand you a large bill, you can ask for smaller ones and, crazy thought, they’ll give them to you!


-Holds out hand for your money.

Puts it on the counter.

*Brain explodes*


-Holds out hand for your money.

Puts a wad of folded up bills in my hand.

Takes longer than necessary to straighten them and count them out since you just couldn’t possibly have done it while I rang up your items.


-Rings up a kid *older than ten, younger than seventeen*

Total is $5.73

Kid stares at the money in his hand and then just hands all of it to me. “I think this is $9.”

*Sigh*…well it’s $5.73…*counts out $6 and hands them back the rest.*



-Rings up a kid *younger than ten. Parents nowhere to be seen*

Total is $2.17.

Kid shows me her $2 and smiles.

“Do you have any change?”


“Where’s your mom?”


*Face palm*


-Loads up an entire shopping cart onto the counter. Includes heavy items like 2L sodas, and milk.

“Can you put this all in one bag?”

*Blank stare. Continues to scan and bag as normal.*


-Rings up entire order. Total is $199.81

“What! What did I buy? That’s not right!?” *Digs through basket and pulls out random item.* “This was supposed to be on sale!”

Yup, it was.

*Grumbles and pays. Then stands in front of my counter to examine the receipt to find out where I “over charged” her somehow.*


-Total is $8.35

“I only have $7.”

Blank stare.

“So what would you like to put back?”



-“This item has a crack/smudge/discoloration/dent/fingerprint/dust etc. on it. Can I have it half off?”


-“You only have one of these left. Can I have it half off?”


-“This has been on the shelf since summer time. Can I have it half off?”


-“I’m buying this as a gift. Can I have it half off?”


-“This was sitting in a spot with no price. Can I have it half off?”


And everyone’s all time favorite

-Item doesn’t scan.

“If it doesn’t scan it must be free!”

Ha. Ha ha. Ha.