Death is a Roommate pt 3

Olivia hounded me for Scott’s phone number. I couldn’t figure out how to tell her he didn’t have a phone. Or, if he did, I had no idea what the number was. Because he must have some way of communication with that watch that had appeared out of nowhere at the dinner party. I couldn’t keep making up excuses or changing the subject.

So, I cornered Scott.

“My friend is obsessed with you.”

“Oh?” His eyebrow arched and the corner of his mouth twisted up into a smirk. “Which one?”

“Don’t play dumb. The one that followed us into the kitchen. Her name’s Olivia and she wants to jump your bones.”

His grin widened. “Phrasing, my dear.” He waved his skeletal hands around my face before they changed back to flesh.

I rolled my eyes. “Well. She won’t leave me alone. She wants your phone number.”

“Give it to her, then.”

I gaped. He couldn’t be serious. “Excuse me? You can’t date my friend. She’s a human.”

“So? And no one said dating had to be included with this jumping of bones.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

I groaned and flopped back onto the couch. “You’re impossible.”

“So I’ve heard.” He walked towards his room. “But give her my number. It’ll be fun. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t have your number.” I pressed my hands over my eyes until I saw stars. “I didn’t think you had a phone. You’re Death.”

“Yes, but I also have a life.” He laughed at his own terrible joke. “Of course I have a phone,” he went on and snapped his fingers. “The number is now in your contacts under ‘best roommate ever.’” He smiled and then slipped into his bedroom and closed the door.

I checked. It was there. With smiley and kissy face emojis too. I tossed my phone back onto the cushion. Now what?

After an hour of slouching on the couch and debating and pretending to study for a test… I sent her the number.


Two days later I entered the apartment to find Scott pinned to the couch by Olivia with their tongues in each other’s mouths.

“Oh, kill me now,” I said and dropped my bag to the floor.

Scott sat up straight and grinned with his eyebrows all the way up to his hairline. “What was that?”

“Shut up. And take that to your room. Jeeze. Disgusting.”

Olivia giggled.

“Have you ever tried to have sex in a hammock?” Scott asked. “Not very easy.”

“Ohmygod! I didn’t need that image in my head.” I covered my eyes and retreated to the kitchen.

I heard them whisper and Olivia giggled some more.

“Okay, we’re leaving. Going to her place then,” Scott said. “Call me if you change your mind about that request.”

“Request?” I mumbled.

“To kill you.”

Oh, right. That one. I heard the door shut behind them and I banged my forehead against the fridge a few times in a futile attempt to knock some sense into myself.

What had I gotten myself into?