Retail Rant

blue bmw car in a dark room

What a day.

A man comes in with a hammer. He is a man we have told repeatedly to stop coming in our store. He’s yelled at me, my assistant, and more than one cashier. He ‘doesn’t have his wallet,’ or ‘needs to run back to his house,’ or ‘let me go to the bank,’ etc. Never buys anything. Just yells and grumbles and occasionally steals a soda.

So, he wanders around the store. Puts random items in a shopping cart and consumes half of a soda and half a monster coffee. Goes to the register and starts his story to my cashier. I don’t hear all of it because I was in another area of the store and it wasn’t until he was walking out that I even realized he was in the store. But from what my cashier told me, it was more of the same ranting about his card not being activated and he can’t call and activate it because his phone is broken, and he’s gone through blah blah blah phones and none of them ever work and his daughter is oversees and he just spent $3000 on some land and he’s gonna change the face of this town and he’s gonna open a laundrymat and oh, his card isn’t activated, so he’ll be right back. He walks out with the monster can.

I see that he’s walking around the building, so I go open the back door and here is the summary of our conversation;

Me: So, were you planning on paying for that monster?
Him: I told him up there that my card’s not activated.
Me: Then why did you open it if you weren’t going to be able to pay for it?
Him: I’m f*ckin’ dehydrated!
Me: But it’s a monster. Why would you drink a monster if you’re dehydtrated?
Him: I didn’t have my coffee this morning. (Mind you, it is 3:30 in the afternoon) this is such horse sh*it! Everyone always accusing me of something!
Me: You can’t just come in and drink something because you didn’t have your coffee. Opening things without paying for them is shoplifting
Him: You’re the shoplifter! I’ve seen you steal more than anyone else!
Me: What the hell are you talking about? I work here.
Him: Yeah, And you steal everything! Call the police if you want, I don’t give a damn!
Me: Okay. *Dials 9-1-1*
Him: *Picking up a large rock from the ground* I should bash your head in with this rock
Me: Yeah, I’m the manager at ** in ** and a man just threatened to bash my head in with a rock
Him: No I didn’t! Now you’re a lying b*tch too! *Gets on bicycle and starts to ride away*
Me: *Proceeds with call with police*

To sum up the rest of the day, he was arrested and charged with robbery since he threatened me. And remember how I said he brought in a hammer? I didn’t know he’d brought it in, my cashier pointed it out. Makes me wonder if he’d planned on threatening me the whole time, but I wasn’t the one at the front so he’d kept it in his basket.

Anyway… retail is great. I’m so ready to retire.